My book turned out to be a little over 80,000 words.  Part of me wants to simply set it up in Amazon and see what happens, but another part of me pushes that thought out.  I’m not quite sure why.  I don’t know if it’s fear of the potential ultimate rejection by the world, watching what I considered to be a fun read, to wallow in the depths of the internet, never to be found by anyone.  I of course would tear it down from the site to save myself more heart-ache then necessary, but it’s still a horrible thing to think about.  I know, I’m biased as were my editors, but I like to think that the words of encouragement I received through the process had merit.

I did have a lot of fun writing the story.  Some would say it is quite dark, but I do not think that it is.  My main intent was to try and create realistic characters and put them in an apocalyptic event.  What makes it dark is the realism that I used to provide each characters background before the action takes place.  Let’s face it, real life can be pretty dark.  There are some characters that show a beacon of hope and there are some that are pure evil.  I wanted my story to be somewhat of a thriller by capitalizing on fearful realities we all face today.  Those are the things I believe to be the most scary.  One’s that we all can identify with by what we see in the news everyday.

So, another day has passed and I sit here thinking about whether or not to take the plunge and set my story out to the world.  It’s right at my fingertips, which is an amazing thought.  I could set aside an hour, upload the book to Amazon, and a day later it’s available to the world.  Easy enough, but terrifying.

What a chicken….

2 thoughts on “Hesitation

  1. I took the time to read your book and I found it very interesting with loads of potential. I will stay tuned to see if additional books in the series come to pass. Regarding hesitation, I also find that feeling to be a genuine concern. You seem to be between the rock and the hard place and in that case I think you should reflect on why you write in the first place. If on one hand you write for the sheer joy of expressing yourself what do you have to lose by going the ebook route? On the other hand if you are determined to be a published author or else then you should probably continue to play the publishing game. In any event you have written a singularly distinctive book that only you could have written and for that you have accomplished a great deal regardless of what the rest of us may think. The rest of us were absent afterall when the first page of this book was blank!

    • Thanks Bead. I agree with your comment. I think what it comes down to though is not to get too caught up in the process and instead try to have fun with it. If I can get my story published someday, it will be all the better. In the meantime, I hope others will find enjoyment in what I have written.

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